


Quite Unexpectedly Dramatic

by Jinxter



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 01:02:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3917398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinxter/pseuds/Jinxter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during episode 3x13 “Witch Hunt”</p><p>One-shot of the memory potion that doesn't get thrown against the wall. ALL THE FEELS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quite Unexpectedly Dramatic

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through my older unpublished bits and pieces and came across this. I decided it barely needed editing to turn it into something I wouldn't mind posting, so here it is. Hope you like it.

Emma stared at the intricate workings of the chemistry set in front of her and wished she had paid more attention in high school, not that they ever would have worked with half the weird and wonderful ingredients Regina was using now to try to re-create the memory potion for Henry.

Regina finished grinding the last ingredient, tapped the pestle on the side of the glass bowl and poured it into the small bottle in her other hand. The liquid turned from clear to black as she swirled it to mix together.

“Did it work?” Emma asked, hopefully.

“There's only one way to find out.” Regina replied, and she pressed the bottle to her lips and sipped. The taste was not unpleasant as many other potions she had used over the years were, and she breathed deeply, as the last rays of hope spread through her like the dawn fingers of sunshine after a long winter's night. She placed the bottle containing the remainder of the potion back on the table and silently prayed her latest effort succeeded where the earlier attempts had failed.

“Well? Do you remember?” Emma asked curiously.

Regina's back straightened, her expression hardening, and she turned away. Then she bent forward as though a wave crashed over her, and she clutched a hand to her chest as her breath was ripped from her and would not return. Her ears rang loudly and her vision darkened at the edges as wave after wave of pain struck her. Or rather, the memory of pain.

Not just any pain, it was the worst pain Regina could imagine. Emotional pain. She had long ago learned to separate from and bear physical pain, as though it were an annoyance, but she had also spent much of her life trying to strip emotion from her life, building walls around it, crushing it down. Never before had she been ambushed by so much of it all at once, it was stronger than any foe she had faced. It clouded in on her, tearing through her chest, radiating through every vein. It pulsed and throbbed through her body.

She found herself walking aimlessly across the room, she reached out and gripped the back of the sofa for support as she felt herself buckling under the weight of an entire year's worth of emotion. Her hand placed over her mouth couldn't contain the sob that broke free, and she knew she was past the point of composure that she could order the other woman to leave her office, her throat was constricted but she managed to gasp in a few breaths before she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder.

“Regina?” Emma's voice was insistent and filled with concern. “What's happening? Do you remember?”

The brunette slowly shook her head. “No, no. I feel...” her voice drifted off.

“What do you feel, Regina?” Emma asked with a quiver of fear in her voice. She had never seen Regina so thrown, raw emotions plainly evident on her face, replacing her usual controlled expressions.

“I feel...” she scrunched her eyes shut as more tears rolled out of them, and she shook her head slightly. “I feel... so... sad.” Another louder sob escaped, and she slumped toward the floor. Emma caught her and lowered them both into a sitting position, Regina with her crumpled legs in front of her, Emma sitting side-on to the older woman, with one raised and bent knee behind her friend, the other curled underneath herself.

Emma's heart broke at the vulnerability she was finally being allowed to see. She cradled Regina's head in her hands, stroking her tear-streaked cheeks with her thumbs, and felt the brunette lean into her touch.

“Oh god, Emma. I can feel it. I can feel that year. I was so alone, all that time. I missed Henry so much, as though a huge part of me was just... gone. Never to return. I missed him every second of every day with every fibre of my being.” She gulped more air and swallowed. Her next words were quieter. “And I missed you.”

Emma closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to the side of the brunette's head, and with her mouth almost touching the ear beneath the dark tresses, she whispered. “Me?” She felt the older woman nod, breathe deeply and reach out for Emma, an arm wrapped around her back and pulled her close. She responded by letting go of Regina's face with one hand, which instead wrapped around her shoulders, enveloping the crumpled form of her former nemesis into an awkwardly positioned but nonetheless close embrace. They held each other while Regina's tears soaked into the fabric of Emma's shirt, and Emma found her own escaping into Regina's dark tresses.

Once Regina's sobs had softened into heavy breathing with an occasional hiccup, Emma broke the silence. “Since I got my memory back I have been thinking about it. I have these two sets of memories. One where I am alone for ten years before Henry brought me home. You, and Mary-Margaret, and Ruby, and then later on, my parents. And the other set of memories is of Henry, everything. Everything, his tiny fingers and toes, his first smile, his first crawl and walk and word. His first tooth, first day of school, everything. And also his sleepless nights, his colds and flus, his stomach bugs, his tantrums, his nightmares. That was all you. Your memories.”

Regina slowly pulled away and sat up, leaning her back against the rear of the sofa. She smiled sadly and wiped away another tear with her hand as Emma continued. “You gave me the good and the bad stuff because all of it is part of the picture. All the bad stuff builds part of who you are, makes you stronger, and I was a better mother because of it. Because of you. When I think about it now I know it was you, I can imagine you doing all those things with him and being there for him all those times, but it feels like it was me so it's like you are in those memories too. It feels like we raised him together. Except for the past year. For the past year I know we've been alone because I know you don't remember any of it like I do. I didn't know you were missing then, but I do now, if that makes sense, and know you missed us. I know that hurts you, and it hurts me too because I don't want to do this alone again. I don't ever want you to not be a part of his life. Or mine.” 

Emma cupped Regina's chin and leaned toward her. “Maybe one day you can teach me these memory spell things and I can share that year with you, but for now I just want you to be in our lives again.”

“He doesn't remember me.” Regina sucked in another short breath, fighting to restrain more tears. “I can't live in this town if Henry doesn't remember me. It's worse than any other curse I ever could have cast.”

“Maybe with that potion, if he remembers loving you and being loved by you? Maybe that's enough until we can figure this out.”

“No,” Regina shook her head sadly. “He hated me, remember? That's why he went to find you. If that's all he remembers of me I couldn't bear it. With his new memories he's only ever remembered loving you.” She sighed, and her voice rasped barely above a whisper. “He'd be happier remembering only you.”

“Regina! He did love you, and he will again. Do you remember how much things changed between him finding me and us leaving for New York? He loves you, he's always loved you. He just doesn't remember right now that he does, but we will find a way, I know we will.” Emma leaned forward and kissed Regina on the cheek, and took her hands in her own. “Now lets go and find out what else we can try to make it happen.” She smiled, and tugged at Regina's hands.

Regina looked up into Emma's ever-hopeful green eyes, sparkling with emotion, and she felt a little bit of the blonde's optimism seep into her. She forced a small smile in return, but with it she felt a glow of warmth within her, and she let Emma pull her into a standing position.

Straightening her clothes and running her fingers through her hair and under her eyes, she turned toward Emma. “I apologize. That was all quite unexpectedly dramatic.”

Emma grinned. “I knew you had a reputation as theatrical, but I thought your genres were suspense thriller and fantasy action horror.”

“I am capable of many things, Miss Swan.” Regina smiled wryly, reminding them both of a similar sentiment from both of them, spoken years earlier as a threat.

“You sure are.” Emma reached out one last time and squeezed Regina's bicep reassuringly.


End file.
